If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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