i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
