I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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