We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize