just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
