Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
