Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
