Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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