capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
no you cant smoke seaweed
bring money and cleavage
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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