Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
