FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
