How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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