I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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