You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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