if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
