Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
