today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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