I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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