I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Are we still banned from the library?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
