What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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