I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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