i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
