Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
