forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
