i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
