Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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