Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
