She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
