You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize