I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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