So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
