You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
