Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
