About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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