so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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