honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
