I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
