Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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