Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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