Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
