Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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