I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
