just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
