I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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