Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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