is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
