I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
