haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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