I will die if light touches me.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
