I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
