Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
