8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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