2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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