I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize