; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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