I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
