Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
