Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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