I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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