No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
