New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
