the condom got lost in my hair
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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