8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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