I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
