shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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