it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
