I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
