plz talk dirty to me
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
