they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I am available for nakedness
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize