my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think a kid would responsible me up
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
