windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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