JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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