Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
