Are we in a gay sports bar?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
