i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This is the high leading the old right now
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
