Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
