TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
