So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
